Content warning: death, loss, gun violence I love Christmas — the lights, the desserts, the snow, the feeling in the air, the shared sense of celebration and joy. This time of year hits differently for everyone, especially those with estranged family or those who are grieving. The sense of loss…

Taking the less comfortable chair. A text message left on read. You died before I could tell you about the electricity in the air at Stonehenge. We could never figure out how we knew each other. Leaving Madrid without saying goodbye. Caring more about you than you did about me. Holding my neck to one side upon impact. He held my hand and my knees were locked and it all descended into tunnel vision.

Content warning: evangelicalism; discussions of homophobia, sexism, purity culture, PTSD, and domestic violence I’m bisexual. These are words I never expected to say (or write) publicly, yet here I am. I’m grateful to be surrounded by people who are not threatened by these words. But I also recognize the weight…

If you’re interested, here is a list of resources, in no particular order, that have helped me along the way on my deconstruction journey. I don’t necessarily endorse these authors, but if I’ve found something helpful in their work, then I’ve listed them here. I’ve also got a very long…

Content warning: mental health issues, covid-19 In March of 2020, I drew a long breath of fresh, spring air, thick with the scent of flowers from European mountain ash trees, and I never let it out. I looked outside my window at a life that seemed a thousand miles away…

Content warning: Abuse and domestic violence I’m angry at evangelical Christians, even though I was one. But there is a tightrope to walk: on the one hand, I have left evangelical Christianity behind completely and entirely, with no plans of ever going back. There are many others I know who…

“So what do you believe now?” a friend asks me over a dinner of chicken fried steak, buttery rolls, and mashed potatoes dripping with gravy. I finish chewing my food and pause for a few moments to formulate my response. “I’m still Christian,” I say as I stare at the…

I recently read Matt Haig’s Reasons to Stay Alive. I stumbled upon this book when I was flipping through the non-fiction section of the library, so I put myself on the waitlist. A few weeks later, I got the email saying that it was available, and I downloaded my copy. …

I absolutely cannot stand the way anyone talks about collective trauma, especially mass shootings. Before I wrote my master’s thesis, I had always observed strange tropes and formulaic language but didn’t know what to make of them. But writing my thesis has changed the way I consume media and political…